Self-care has become one of those phrases that can mean almost anything. Getting ready for a night out, going to therapy, canceling plans, making them. It all counts. 

The definition’s vague because it’s personal. The real question isn’t “what counts as self-care?” but instead “what helps you feel more like yourself?” 

For actor and activist Kensington Tallman, that answer changes depending on the day. Sometimes it’s doing skincare or going for a walk. Sometimes it’s staying home alone on a Friday night and watching SNL. And sometimes, it’s showing up for others through her work as a brand ambassador for the nonprofit Girl Well. 

Talking to Kensington, you get the sense that she leans into it what she needs. She has a warm, easy energy about her. But that instinct to take care of herself and others didn’t come out of nowhere. It was shaped, in part, by her experience navigating her own mental health. 

You know when you don’t feel like yourself, but can’t really put your finger on what’s wrong? Kensington had anxiety for years, but didn’t have the words to explain it. 

“When you're in a dark time, it can feel like it's gonna stay like that forever, and it's really scary,” Kensington explains. 

There’s a movie all about identifying feelings and making sense of the way they interact with one another, and Kensington just happened to star in it: Inside Out 2. She started to make sense of these frustrating feelings through her role as Riley, a character who struggles with social anxiety. 

This led Kensington to get help from a professional, who diagnosed her with an anxiety disorder. Through therapy, Kensington came to a realization: She was totally lacking balance. 

“I’m the type of person where I will work myself till burnout,” she explains. “I always have a really busy schedule, and with the way that my personality works, it's very easy for me to just not rest.” 

For those of us who are obsessed with getting stuff done, “just not resting” sounds OK in theory. But IRL, it leads to burnout. Plus, if you have anxiety, it’ll make those jittery feelings worse. 

So, whenever she could, Kensington started focusing on what made her feel good: Spending time with people she could be herself around, getting into little makeup routines, doing fun workouts. And day by day, self-care pulled her out of her dark moment. It didn’t fix everything, but she started finding joy in her everyday, which made the big feelings way more manageable. 

And, yeah, she felt a little guilty for resting. We’ve been there: You really just want to enjoy your comfort show, but your mind decides to remind you of everything “productive” you could be doing. She’s gotten used to the feeling, but sometimes still has to remind herself resting is important. 

One day, while she was recording a particularly difficult scene for Riley, it hit her: So many other people feel the exact same way. 

“It was really the first time that I realized, okay, I'm not alone,” she says. “I realized this is a human experience, and it doesn't last forever. Life ebbs and flows.” 

And she wanted them to know self-care could help them find balance, too. 

“I was like, hey, I want to share what has helped me, and I want to let other people know that they're not alone,” she says. “I want to let people know these are normal feelings.” 

While we need self-care to feel like ourselves, the price tag on tools like makeup and therapy appointments can make them feel more like luxuries than everyday rituals. 

“It can often feel really non-equitable, like, ‘you have to have this, you know, $500 moisturizer or whatever,’” Kensington explains. 

So when a fellow actor told her about an org that makes these tools more accessible, she was super excited. Girl Well provides under-sheltered teen girls with helpful kits with things like snacks, socks, hygiene products, free therapy deals, a resource guide, and makeup. 

Kensington’s favorite part? Every kit has a handwritten letter to remind its recipient they’re loved and valued. Going analog is way more meaningful than a text paragraph. 

Kensington and Girl Well founder Kayli Joy Cooper became instant besties, and have shared their mission of making self-care accessible on panels (including one at Harvard! What, like it’s hard?)

We often think about “caring” as something mental — an invisible thing that happens in our minds. But the truth is, our values show up through actions. 

A perfect example: Kensington doesn’t just think about how important it is to bring self-care to others. She also hosts and participates in packing parties, where she puts these kits together, making friends and helping her own mental health along the way. That’s caring in action. 

A plus? It’s really fun, too. 

“It's a really lovely bonding experience, and I think it gets everybody thinking about, hey, how am I prioritizing my mental health?” Kensington says. “There's something really powerful about being surrounded by a lovely community.” 

Turns out, caring for yourself and caring for other people aren’t that different. Sometimes they’re the exact same thing.